Seitsme maa ja mere taga

Minu reisile eelnevad teadmised Lõuna-Aafrika kohta olid kergelt öeldes piiratud. Enda õigustuseks võin ma muidugi mainida, et see pole ainult minu probleem nagu järgmised näidete põhjal öelda võib.
Mõned aastad tagasi tutvustasin kahele Stellenboschist pärit kutile Tallinna ning vanalinna ekskursioni ajal jooksin kogemata kokku ühe sõbraga. Tutvustasin poisse siis temalegi ning kuulnud, kust nood pärit on, küsis ta veidi segaduses olles: „Oota... aga, miks nad siis valged on?“
Mõned kuud hiljem rääkis üks poistest mulle, et leidis endale Lõuna-Aafrikast ühe kohaliku hõimupealiku tütre ja juhul kui nad abielluma peaks, tuleb neil aasta jooksul laps saada või abielu tühistatakse.
Loomulikult pani see jutt mind kulmu kergitama, ent ma ei kahelnud hetkekski, et selline olukord võimalik on. Ma ilmselt ei pea mainima, et minu lihtsameelsuse üle tehakse siiani nalja.

Selleks, et Lõuna-Aafrikasse jõuda, tuleb enne läbi teha kohutavalt pikk ja tüütu lennureis. Seekord lendasime liinil Tallinn-Helsinki-London-Doha-Kaplinn kusjuures reisi eredaimad mälestused pärinevad kindlasti Katari pealinnast, kus me peatusime vaid veidi üle tunni. Seega võin lubada, et juba üksi lennujaam pakub väga lühikese aja jooksul väga eksklusiivseid elamusi. Maanduva lennuki aknast välja vaadates ootasin, et kohe ilmuvad vaatevälja suured uhked lossid, mille värvilised kuplid säravad hommikupäikeses. Selle asemel paistis vaid trobikond valgeid madalaid maju, mis kõik olid omavahel äravahetamiseni sarnased. Kella kuue ajal hommikul võttis meid vastu ligi 28 kraadine leitsak ja kui seal bikiinide kandmise eest vangi ei pandaks, võiks tegemist olla päris kobeda rannapuhkuse kohaga. Kuna ümberistumise aeg oli harukordselt lühike, tormasime kohe ekspresssappa. Lehvitasin pisikese turbaniga mehe ees oma lennukipiletit ja seletasin talle, et meil on äärmiselt kiire ja et palun korjaku see lint eest ära. Ta võttis mu pileti, heitis sellele pilgu ja teatas: “Madam, teil on aega küll, lennuk läheb ju alles 25 minuti pärast.“ Ilmselt oli mu nägu selleks ajaks siiski suhteliselt meeleheitlik ning rohkem ta mind takistama ei hakanud.

Peale 36 tunnist reisi maandusime lõpuks Kaplinnas. Veel enne, kui meid maale lasti, pidime passikontrollis tõestama, et me seda tõesti väärime. (Lolli)kindla järjepidevusega kontrollis ametnik meie viisade kehtivust ning arvutas umbes viis korda üle, mitu päeva me kohapeal veeta võime ning millal tuleks taas kodu poole minema hakata. Iga arvutuse juures pani ta meile südamele ka seda, et me ikka kindlasti tagasi läheks. Kui olime käsi südamel lubanud, et me tõesti ei jää kauemaks, kui 2 nädalaks, rahunes härra ametnik veidi maha ning lubas meid riiki sisse. Minu esimeseks Lõuna-Aafrika elamuseks olid maantee ääres asuvad mustade ghettod, mida kutsutakse Township’ideks. Haletsusväärsed käepärastest vahenditest meisterdatud uberikud ääristasid teeääri, kui me Kaplinnast suuna Stellenboschi poole võtsime. Järgnevaks nädalaks seadsime end sisse kohaliku viinamarjakasvataja Piet Fischeri külalistemajakesse, kus pidin oma tuba jagama vaid sajajalgsete vihmaussidega, kes end mu toa seintel mugavalt sisse olid seadnud.

My prior knowledge about South Africa was quite limited to say the least. As it turns out, it’s not only my problem.
A couple of years ago we had some visitors from Stellenbosch and as I was showing them around at the Old Town, we ran into a friend of mine. I introduced the guys and after hearing where they were from, she asked me a bit confused: „Wait... but why are they white? “
Some months later one of the guys told me that he found himself a girlfriend in South Africa. The problem was that the girl was a daughter of a local tribe leader and if they get married, she has to give a birth during one year or their marriage will be over.
I was surely bemused, but trying not to question another culture, I never hesitated in what he said. I probably don’t have to mention that my naivety is still a laughingstock for some people.
The trip to South Africa means a horribly long and annoying flight. This time we flew on Tallinn-Helsinki-London-Doha-Cape Town route. My brightest memories are surely from the capital of Qatar, where our stopover lasted for an hour. I can promise that even the airport can offer its visitors really exclusive experiences in a very short time period. As I peeked out of the window of the landing plane, I expected to see some magnificent castles with their colourful cupolas shining in the morning sun. Instead of any luxurious sight, I just saw a number of white flat houses all looking the same. It was 6 am but it was already way too hot for us. If wearing bikinis in the public wouldn’t mean a life in prison then Qatar would be a perfect destination for a beach holiday. As we didn’t have much time, we searched for the express queue straight away. I was waving my plane ticket in front of the nose of a little guy with turban, trying to explain him in my fastest English that we are in a hurry and please remove the band. He took my ticket, took a quick look at it and told me to calm down. „Madam, your plane is leaving in 25 minutes. You have enough time.“ Nevertheless, I must have looked quite desperate by the time as he didn’t try to hold me back much longer.
After the 36 hour trip we finally landed in Cape Town. Just before we were granted the access to the country, we had to prove that we really deserved it. The official checked our visas thoroughly and calculated about 5 times how many days we have in South Africa and when we must leave. With every calculation he wanted us to assure him that we really are not planning to stay longer. After many serious promises (cross my heart and hope to die) that we really don’t want to settle down in Africa, he was finally ready to grant the access. My first South African experience was the township. Hapless hovels made of everything that was even a bit suitable for building a house stood at the roadside as we drove out of Cape Town. For the next week we settled down at the guesthouse of a local farmer Piet Fisher where I had to share my room with little rain worms who felt themselves very cosy on my white walls.